


Mistakes, wrong decisions and false hope

by Luni_Ambrose



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Gen, Missing old friends, Seth is back at writing, lonely!Seth, sometimes music is all you need
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-21 21:48:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8261494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luni_Ambrose/pseuds/Luni_Ambrose
Summary: And once again the music killed the pain deep inside of him...





	1. The pain deep inside of him

 

 

_I never wanted to be alone. And I never thought I would be alone._

_But mistakes, wrong decisions and false hope took me here._

_People surrounding me but I was all alone. Because nobody liked me._

_Nobody cared about me. Not anymore._

 

_No golden boy. Not the champ. Not the man anymore._

 

 

Seth let out a sigh, putting down the pen. Staring at the words he just finished writing. Somehow he got back into writing.

He looked up, watching Roman talking to Sasha. The samoan smiling, the title on his shoulder. Looked great, no question about that. He always liked the US title. Especially around Dean's waist. Another sigh. He missed Dean. He missed Roman. But in the end it was his own fault.

 

Seth threw his little notebook into his gym bag. Tying his hair into a low ponytail.

He grabbed the bag and made his way out of the locker room.

 

„Would you mind if I join you?“ Someone asked as Seth got to his rental car.

He looked up, meeting the smiling face of Sami Zayn. At least someone who even took the time to talk to Seth.

„If you really want to.“ Seth said, throwing his gym bag onto the back seat.

„I wouldn't ask if I didn't want to, Seth.“

 

The ride was pretty quiet. Sami staring out of the window most of the time, waiting for Seth to start a small talk.

Seth's eyes fixed on the highway. Every now and then he started drumming with his fingers.

„Sorry...“ He said as Sami looked over to him. „Sometimes the music in my head gets too loud.“ A smile on Seth's face.

„No problem.. Don't hold yourself back, Seth.“

„Would you mind if I turn on the music?“

„Of course not. It's your rental car. I just needed some time off. Maybe the music kills the screams in my head.“

Seth's gaze fixed on Sami. „Because of Kevin?“ A small nod and a long sigh from Sami. „Isn't that easy to lose your friends..“

„Yeah. I miss being with Kevin. We were best friends. He was like a brother.“

„Same with Dean and Roman.“ Seth sighed and turned on the music.

And once again the music killed the pain deep inside of him.

 

 

 


	2. About not deserving anything

 

Hours passing by. At some point Seth turned down the music.

„Do you think those bad feelings will disappear some day?“

Sami gave him a sad smile. „No. Never.“ Both men sighed. „Kevin was my best friend for years. He took a part of my heart and crushed it. I always thought I would get used to it. But no... It still hurts to see him.“

„Sometimes I ask myself if they would give me a second chance.“ Seth felt the tears forming. „But I don't deserve it. I know that.“

 

Sami grabbed Seth's hand. „Stop saying that. You deserve a second chance. People keep making bad decisions...Mistakes. You took the easy way. Many people would have done that. Now you've choosen the other way.“ Sami gently squeezing Seth's hand before he let go.

Seth opened his mouth to say something. But he failed. Did Sami just said the he would _deserve_ it? Seth _never_ deserved anything, for sure. At least he thought so.

 

The next rest was his. He needed to get out of the car. The cold air hitting him hard, cooling him down. Sami stayed in the rental while Seth splashed his face with ice cold water.

He stared at his reflection. „You don't deserve anything!“

 

Seth made his way back to the car, grabbing his gym bag and mumbling an apology to Sami before running back into the restroom. It was too much. He knew he never deserved anything.

It was like everyone said. Things were handed to him. He never deserved it.

He took out his notebook, not ever caring about locking the door. Why should Sami care? Nobody cared about Seth.

Sitting on the ice cold and dirty ground, the disgusting smell creeping up his nose.

 

_This isn't about lost friends. It's all about not deserving anything. I never earned things. I got them handed to me because... yeah.. why?_

_Maybe because I was too stupid to realize that it was never about me. I was a toy soldier in their game._

_Now I'm worthless because I'm broken._

_A broken toy soldier._

_Worthless._

_Ready to be thrown away._

_Again._

 

The door flew open. Seth's eyes met Sami's shocked ones.

„What the fuck?“ A hint of panic in Sami's voice.

 


	3. Nobody needs me

 

Seth tried to hide his notebook, dropping the pen.

„Are you okay, Seth?“ Sami got on his knees, grabbing Seth's pen.

„Yeah, I'm fine... I guess...“ He was shaking. Sami helped him up.

„Come on, get back into that car. You're freezing. I'll drive.“ Suddenly Sami hugged Seth. Arms tightly wrapped around the shaking body. Somehow Seth relaxed in Sami's arms.

 

The drive was silent. Sami knew if Seth would want to talk he would do. Until then he would listen to Seth's favorite music. Instead of talking Seth was staring out of the window. His notebook in his hands, grip firm. Nobody should even know he was writing. But now it was too late. Sami had already seen it.

 

Seth got nervous as they arrived at the hotel.

„Please don't tell anyone, okay?“ he whispered as Sami parked the car.

„Why should I? Seth, I was scared. You came back to the car, grabbed you bag and ran off. I had to look after you. I was afraid you would do anything stupid. I'm glad that I was wrong.“ Sami grabbed Seth's hand, squeezing it a bit.

„Afraid?“

„Yeah.“ Sami tried to smile but failed.

„I'm sorry, Sami. But...why? I mean..Nobody cares about me.“

„I do. Seth, listen to me. I have no idea what made you think this way – but I care and many others do, too!“

 

Seth nearly jumped out of the car, grabbing his stuff and made his way into the hotel.

„We need two single rooms, please.“ He said, smiling at the guy behind the desk.

„I am sorry, sir. But there are no single rooms available for tonight. The only thing I could offer you would be a double room with single beds.“

„We take it.“ It was Sami, standing next to Seth. They looked at each other and bursted out into laughter.

As soon as they got to their room Seth went into the bathroom, his notebook still in his hand. This time he looked the door. He heard Sami laughing outside.

„If you need your pen you'll have to come back.“

Damn.

Slowly he opened the door. His eyes meeting Sami's.

„You can sit on your bed and write, Seth. You don't have to hide.“

 

And Seth did what Sami told him. Because for him it wasn't an offer. It was a command.

 

_Maybe we can be friends. If I stop being me._

_Nobody needs me. Sami needs Kevin._

_I like Sami... A little bit.._

 

 


	4. I am nothing more than a broken man

The next morning Seth woke up because of some uncommon noise. He opened his eyes to see Sami kicking with his feet, whining loudly. Seth jumped out of his bed to wake him up. The moment he touched Sami he got knocked down by the upcoming fist of Sami.

The coppery taste of blood filled his mouth. Seth felt the cut on his lip, felt the amount of blood running down his chin.

 

Somehow Sami was awake by now. Yawning loud. His eyes found Seth on the ground.

„Are you okay Seth? Why are you bleeding?“

Seth got up to his feet, not saying anything before heading into the bathroom. Trying to clean himself up, trying to stop the bleeding.

Sami entered the room. „Was it me?“

A small nod.

„Sorry.. I am so sorry, Seth. Had a bad dream.. I'm sorry.“ Sami's voice was trembling.

„It's okay. Not the first time that happened to me.“ Seth laughed a little. „Dean did it nearly on a regular bases.“

 

As soon as Seth was cleaned up and the bleeding was stopped he sat down on his bed, grabbing his notebook from under his pillow.

 

_The moment Sami knocked me out made everything worse. It reminded me of Dean._

_He was my friend. My brother._

_Why did I made all those bad dicisions? Why was I so stupid?_

_My life is about to go down. I am nothing more than a broken man._

 

„Breakfast?“ Sami asked outta nowhere. Seth nearly jumped out of his bed.

„Uhmm.. Yeah.“ Just in time his stomach startet to grumble.

„There is a small diner just a few blocks away. Guess that would be way more enjoyable that this hotel food.“ Sami smiled and jumped into some fresh clothes.

 

Seth changed and felt slightly uncomfortable. But at least he would have company. Someone who was with him. Making him feel not that unwanted as he always felt.

 


	5. Maybe I deserve nothing else than that

_It felt strange. Sami asking questions. Trying to get under my skin. I should not trust him._

_He was always smiling at me when I took out you, my dear._

_He is smiling because of you._

_Maybe he wants to steal you. To find out what is wrong with me. To make my life even worse._

_Maybe Sami would hand you over to Roman and Dean._

_They would make fun of me._

 

_Maybe I deserve nothing else than that. I know I've hurted them so bad._

_But they'll never know how much it was hurting me, too._

_I fucked it up. I threw away their friendship._

_Breaking up our bond._

 

_I've been watching Sami all day. He looked on his phone every now and then._

_And every time he seemed sad. The smile fading a little before he turned off the screen again._

_He was often just looking on his screen. An old picture of Kevin and himself. Both smiling._

_Sami was suffering. Missing Kevin more than everything else._

_Sometimes Sami talked about Finn. But Finn was one of the people I didn't wanted to hear about._

_I knew everybody was hating me. Because Finn was out of action because of me._

_That was something I had to deal with. Every day._

_And no friends to talk about it._

_And Sami was a good friend of Finn. Deep down he was hating me too._

_For sure he did._

 

_But somehow it felt okay to have Sami around. Maybe because he was needing a friend too._

_I could be his Kevin. Hopefully. Someday._

 

 

 


End file.
